Hey Mama!

This morning my daughter called me into my room. With a giggle she told me “Look Mummy, I’m you!”

This is what I was presented with. . .

Instantly I didn’t know whether to be super proud or saddened that this was her interpretation of “Mummy”

Working parent guilt is real, very, very real!

I snapped it and sent it to a good friend of mine asking if I should be proud or horrified. His response was “Proud, she sees you like every little girl should see their mummy in the 21st Century” and to a degree I agree with this.

It got me thinking. As mum’s do we give ourselves too much of a hard time when it comes to finding the right balance between home and work?

During my motherhood journey I have been a full time parent, a part time employee and now I work full time. At each stage I have questioned myself as to whether I was doing the right thing!

On Maternity Leave I relished in being a full time parent and made a lovely group of friends. But as Macie started to get older I wondered if this was enough for me? I missed the office environment and conversations that didn’t revolve around my child. I personally felt like I’d lost my identity and had just become ‘Macie’s Mum’. Now don’t get me wrong I fully take my hat off to a full time mum's, entertaining a pre-school child for 12 hours a day, whilst maintaining a house and trying to have a life is not an easy task and I just have the one child! In fact I’m fairly certain the most exhausted I ever felt, was as a full time Mum! My guilt also kicks in here as I would love to be able to take my daughter and pick her up from school each day. I’m fairly lucky that my employer supports Flexible working, so for 2 mornings a week I am able to take my daughter to school, but I know she would love for that to be a more regular occurrence.

Once My daughter was almost a year old I returned to work part time, working 3 days a week. Once again I found myself torn and it’s really hard to juggle and constantly shift focus between the office and home. I was also eager to progress in my career but my working hours meant I was restricted in doing so.

My Daughter started school last year and it coincided with a full time job opportunity at work that I had been striving for since before my daughter was born. I knew I had to go for it or forever regret not taking the opportunity. For the first time in my motherhood journey I didn’t have dedicated ‘Macie days’. To start with this was really tough. My daughter missed me and I missed her terribly. I am lucky that my mother helps me out whenever she can, Macie’s dad is supportive and does his fair share and understands my need to work and we have an amazing childminder that my daughter loves. So leaving her in their care eases the guilt slightly.

My personal situation also dictates that I have no choice but to work full time as I am solely responsible for my mortgage and need to feed and clothe us both. By working I am able to treat my daughter and give her opportunities such as holidays overseas, gymnastic lessons and a farm membership as she has a rather unhealthy obsession with goats! If I didn’t work full time she wouldn’t have these things. I know it’s not all about the materialistic things but if you ask my daughter who her best friend is she will always say Mummy first, before listing her friends. So I am fairly comfortable that working full time isn’t affecting our relationship as I ensure the time we spend together is full of plenty of quality one on one time.

Sometimes I see social media campaigns from beauty or juicing companies offering you business opportunities to work from home and presenting lifestyle images that suggest you can have it all. However even that involves some family sacrifice. I know it has been extremely successful for some people and I applaud that! I’m happy they found a working solution for them. However I don’t think we should make anybody feel guilty for choosing a regular set income or judge somebody because they gave up a high flying career to raise their children. As mum’s we need to support each other. One mum’s reasons for working or not working are different to another. What we should be installing in our children is that nothing in this world comes without a little sacrifice and hard work.

Back to my original point of whether this photo should horrify me, I decided it doesn’t and I’m proud of it. I’m proud that my daughter has a massive smile on her face in this photo and that she is happy. I’m proud I am installing a work ethic in to her and a notion that if you want something you have to work for it as my mother did for me. I’m proud to be raising her to believe she can do anything she wants to be.

With yesterday being International Women’s Day and Sunday being Mother's day I have looked at all the wonderful women I get to call my friends and family. My close circle is made up of Business Owners, Teachers, Support Managers, Full Time Mum's, Barista and a Post Lady. They all work various hours for various different wages and raise children in the process. So high five mamma’s, you’re all kickass ladies and I’m proud of the support and love we give each other!

So I guess what I’m really trying to say is that lets all stop feeling guilty for how we choose to support our families, lets support each other and raise children with a strong work ethic and to be decent people!

Mum’s stop feeling guilty, you’re doing the best you can!